Today Ava Ran to me (sorta)

I've come to realize that there are certain feelings in life that you don't know exist until you're a parent. 

Today, I experience yet another one of those. Your mom had a game tonight against the top seeded team in the GLIAC North - Wayne State in which they came out victorious in a stunning upset. 

That being stated, I picked you up from Marissa's and when I got there, she answered the door holding Andrew. Usually when I get there, Marissa is holding you when she answers the door. We get your coat on, gather your stuff and head home.

I was honestly a bit disappointing to not see you as soon as she opened the door. That all changed in a matter of seconds. When you walk in Marissa's front door, you're facing a short hallway that leads to their dining room with the kitchen on the left and living room on the right. 

The floors are hard wood, making it easy for a walker to glide across. When I entered the house, down the hallway you came. In what seemed like a run - I'm sure it was more of a snail's pace, but the way I choose to replay it in my head is a run - you came trucking down the hallway in Marissa's walker. 

This is when the feeling that described earlier came to be. You were the happiest I've seen you. You were giggling and laughing as you scooted across the floor and wanted picked up. I obliged and you just created a laugh that Marissa said she hadn't heard from you all day.

It made me feel like you were genuinely happy to see me. Those 12 words don't describe the feeling properly, but to me it meant that you're making the connection to who your parents are. I really wish I was better able to put it into words.

You're growing up so fast. 

This instant lasted all of 10 seconds, but will remain with me for the rest of my days. It's these unexpected fleeting moments that I've come to enjoy. 

Sleep well little one.

Today Ava Found Her Lungs

Wow ... just wow. I hope tonight wasn't a preview of what your mother and I are in for in the future. 

A little back story - I've jokingly mentioned in previous posts how vain we say you can be and love to see yourself in the mirror. When we moved in to our house there was a wall mirror in the master bathroom left behind by the previous owners. Rather than discarding it, we hung it in the laundry room. There it sat until tonight. I had the bright idea to hang it at your level on the wall near your "creativity corner" in the basement. 

Of course, once it was in place, you wanted nothing to do with it. 

A few minutes later Uncle Kris FaceTimed with us for a little bit. It was nice to catch up with him and your Aunt Suz. We text frequently, but don't chat as often as I would prefer. I think that'll change in the coming months. 

Anyway, you began to get squirmy and a little cranky so we knew bed was near for you. We ended the call with your Aunt and Uncle and decided before we headed upstairs that we'd place you in front of the mirror once more. 

Then it happened. You found your lungs. You weren't mad, or upset, just screaming at the top of your lungs. It was very entertaining to your mom and I. Have a look (it may be wise to lower your volume):

Today Ava had A Mommy/Daughter Day

During the basketball season we have a number of Daddy/Daughter days as your mom travels with the team. We understand it's part of her job and what she needs to do, but she really doesn't like being away from you. 

We go to all of the home games and some of the close away games to show our support. 

Well, today, I was a little under the weather so your mom took care of you all day. Late last evening I came down with a stomach bug that kept me up for the night. It wasn't pretty so I'll omit the details here. Just know I didn't get any sleep at all. 

I was feeling a little better by morning and against your mother's wishes I went to work. It was the longest day of my career. I had no energy whatsoever but got through it. after work, you and your mom went to Target and I napped. 

I was a little worried sending you and your mom to Target alone because pay day isn't until Friday and she likes to keep Target's profit margin pretty high (kidding). I must have fallen into a deep sleep because when she got you home she gave you a bath. Your mom said you were a little fussy through it and she was surprised I slept through it. not waking until 7:40 p.m.

When you started to show your obvious signs of being tired I took you into our room and laid you on my chest until you fell asleep. We must have been sleeping for a bit because I woke up to your mom gently picking you up off my chest and taking you to your crib.

Sleep well Gravy, we all need our rest.

Today Ava Went to Church

We went to our usual 11:00 a.m. Mass at Walsh University this morning. As we always do, we sit as close as possible to the music. Why? Because you can't get enough of it. 

You were asleep when we got there today and slept for about half the Mass, but when you awoke you homed in on the music and was transfixed.

The first time we went to Mass after you were born we were a little late and had to sit near the music. Your mom and I feared it would be too loud for you. My were we wrong. You're steel blue eyes were glued to the musicians and the music they were playing. It hasn't changed over the past six months either. 

Now, like today, we intentionally sit near the music so you can watch and listen. Even though your mom and I are void of musical talent, we feel it's necessary for us to introduce you to a music program as soon as we can. 

At home, you hammer away on the piano keys on your play mat, you it all the keys n the xylophone toy that Kristi and Ben gave you. It's fairly obvious that you have an affinity for music and as parents, we feel it's necessary for us to help you pursue whatever it is you desire. Right now that's music. 

On a side note, we are so amazed at how well behaved you are in Church. If you're not watching the musicians, you are so content. We thank you for that.

Today Ava Got a Fat Lip

Today I could write about how you were awake and happy with us at breakfast (usually you're sound asleep), or how you were so talkative all day - I swear I heard you say "Da Da." Or I could write about how we could have been at the gym all night - everyone loved you, the concession stand ladies, Lydia's mom, random people, and coach. 

But no, what takes the cake today is your face.

Dad of the year, right here.

It happened as your mom and I were finishing up dinner. You, content on your play mat, rolled onto your stomach. From my vantage point all i saw was two arms steetch around the corner then your smiling face came around as if to say "I'm here!" 

I came over snatched you up and set you on the counter. Your mom was sitting on the opposite side chatting with me pushing some food around her plate she wasn't going to eat when it happened. Cue the music "Dun dun dun."

I stood directly behind you with my arms around either side in the case that you would fall, I would catch you. I started tapping my hands quickly around you on the counter top and you kept following, giggling as you tried to catch my hands with yours.

I had three of four sides covered and as my hands came to the front, you came crashing forward. In an attempt to catch my hands, you lost your balance and fell forward with a thud. Smashing your face on the counter. And with that, the damage was done, you're first fat lip. 

I'll gladly accept my "Father of the Year Award" now. 

I wrapped you in my arms and began to apologize. It took a second for you to realize what happened and when you did, you let out a wale! Crying so hard you had to stop to catch your breath. You're mom and I both felt terrible and we tried to put an ice pack on it, tried to get you to chew a frozen teether, whatever we culd do to help.

A few minutes and a few tears and you were back to normal. Your lip is a little swollen and I sure hope it goes down before Church tomorrow!

Sleep well, I owe it to you.

Today Ava Hung Out

Today your "Uncle Dees" came over and hung out with us. 

Hanging out with "Uncle Dees"

I've known Keith since sixth grade when we had a language arts class together with Mrs. Cheney. Over the years we've become best friends and hang out often. For a good number of those years we've met each Saturday for breakfast at B&K Cafe - I know, we're in our 80's, not our 30's, right?

I've got more stories from the 20 or so years we've been friends than space will allow here, but here's what you should know: He was one of the first people I introduced your mom to from my inner circle when we started dating, he was in our wedding, and he was one of the first outside immediate family to meet you when you made your grand entrance. 

Needless to say, we consider Keith family and he the same with us. 

Our schedules haven't meshed in the past few weeks so we haven't gotten together lately, but tonight Keith came over to hang out with us and see you. 

We played in the basement early in the evening then decided a trip to Goodwill off of Route 62 was in order. While doing our indoor "Garage sale" shopping you fell asleep on Keith's shoulder, out until we got home.

You awoke when we got out of the car and fought sleep for a good long while. As it always does, sleep won the battle and you were out for the night. 

Sleep well, Gravy.

Today Ava Moved Forward

This journal has gone from one moment of your day that I want to remember to a summary of the days activities. I need to get back on track.

I've got three things from today that I want to share. Since you're growing so rapidly and developing so quickly, I think I'm allowed to pick a few things here and there.

"This is not a staged photo." - Your mom.

Not long after I got to work this morning I received a text from your mom saying "Stepped away to get my phone off the love seat, turned back around and she rolled over ... Caught her one armed as she was about to fall off. Lesson learned. She can't be left unattended anymore." 

Our days of you laying on the couch and us momentarily walking away to get something are over. In my case, I'm not refilling my coffee without picking you up anymore. 

All three of today's stories fit the subject line and show the progress you're making. The second, it was a daddy/daughter day today as your mom has a game in Findlay and won't be getting home until really late. Since your teeth (or lack there of) have been giving you fits as of late, we stayed in.

I put you in your walker in the kitchen so I could unload the dishwasher and wash a few dishes left in the sink. I noticed that you began to move towards me. 

This is new. 

Since we bought the walker, all you've been able to do is push yourself backwards, eventually getting stuck against the fridge or cabinets until we pull you out and do it all over again. 

You're finally getting tall enough and strong enough to pull yourself across the floor in the walker. This was exciting, again, goes to show how much your growing. 

Third, baby gates are in our very near future. We went to the basement to play and I set your penguin out of your reach to see what you would do. You've been expanding your reach quite a bit over the last few weeks, leaning forward or to the side to pick up or bring items closer to you. A lot of times to the point that you'll fall onto your tummy and want set back up.

Tonight, rather than just falling onto your tummy as you reached, you nearly got onto all fours, one leg tucked underneath and the other ready to push of with while intentionally propping yourself up with your arms. The intent look on your face showed me that you were thinking long and hard about how you could get to that penguin.

Eventually, you went for it and fell forward to your front and reached as far as you could. It won't be long and you'll be crawling. 

Today Ava was a Ham

It's no secret you like the mirror. And quite frankly the mirror (and every stranger we pass) likes you too. Today, I will reminisce, but more on that in a minute.

Marissa told your mom that she saw a tooth getting close to popping through. That's great news! Any day now. 

Tonight, we went recruiting with your mom, up to Nordonia High School to watch tournament play. St. Vincent St. Mary v. Akron North. It wasn't much of a Game. St. V ran away with it, 77 - 31. Towards the end of the game, I pulled my phone out and turned the camera so that you could see yourself on the screen. 

 As always, you turned your attention to the screen and kept trying to reach for yourself.

As we were preparing to leave the gym, you made eye contact with people behind us and smiled at them. We heard a few "Aww's" and "How cute's" and so on. Not to sound like a braggart, but we hear this a lot. I digress, back to the story at hand.

You love seeing yourself, as I mentioned, that is no secret. We have a mirror in the living room that we'll hold you up to, and you go crazy. Reaching for yourself, kissing yourself, and laughing at yourself. It's fun to watch. We'll even play a version of hide and seek where I'll take you away from the mirror and sneak you up to yourself. 

From Feb. 4

The first time we really noticed that you liked to see yourself was on a trip to Michigan in early January with your moms team. In the hotel they had a floor to ceiling mirror that served as the closet door. We set you in front of it and you had a good time realizing that your new friend did everything that you were doing. 

 From Jan. 4.

We jokingly say you're vain, we just hope we're not raising a diva. Stay humble Gravy. It'll get you places.

Today Ava Had It Rough

Well, Gravy, it wasn't so smooth today. What did I take from today? That your teeth need to pop through, soon.

Our day actually began late last night, around 11:45 p.m. and escalated from there. I heard you begin to stir through the monitor an hope you would go back to sleep. No such luck. I got up and went to your crib, thinking you just needed a bottle I picked you up. You immediatley put your head on my shoulder and went back to sleep. 

We rocked for a few minutes until I thought you were good and asleep. My way of checking - I lift your arm and if it drops back to my chest without resistance, you're out. If you resist, even slightly, I know you aren't quite out. Thinking you were good and asleep, I laid you back down in your crib. Almost as soon as your head came to a rest you began to cry. 

I picked you back up and like before, your head hit my shoulder and out you went. After a few more minutes of rocking, I tried again. Same result. 

We've gone through this pattern with you in the recent past, you don't want to be put down. Not sure if I should be flattered that you want me to hold you all night, or worried that I'm getting you into a pattern that may came back to bite me. I prefer the former. 

We went to the living room and you slept on my chest for a bit. I don't think it was a comfortable sleep as you kept trying to switch positions or turn your head. Needless to say, sleep was minimal for me. 

Somewhere in the1:00 - 2:00 a.m. hour you decided you were hungry. After the bottle, you went back to sleep on my chest again. 

This was the only ay I could get you
to sleep without being held.

One more attempt to put you in your crib ... same result. Off to the recliner we went. Back to seep on my chest you were. An hour or so went by and I needed to use the restroom. I debated for close to another hour if I wanted to risk putting you down. Would you cry? 

My need to use the bathroom won and I set you on the recliner. To my surprise you remained asleep. We went back to the couch and a little while later, I felt something warm on my belly. I felt around with my left hand and just assumed you were warm laying on me - a walking furnace - and a blanket over top of you. 

Just before 6:00 a.m. I noticed your diaper was full, I lifted you up and noticed that the warm sensation I felt wasn't nothing. You peed through your diaper and my T-shirt was soaked. 

I laid you down on the changing table and you smiled at me - as if to say "Haha I got ya!" 

We changed you and you decided now was a good time to wake up. For an hour we played and by now it was getting light out. You began yawning and showing signs of wanting to go back to bed. I rocked you in the nrsery glider for close to 30 minutes. One last time I thought I would try and lay you down in the crib. It worked this time! You remained out for a little nap. 

Thus was our morning. Hey, on the half-full side of things, we got to hang out for a good long time. Father/Daughter bonding. 

We've been attributing the oddities of your sleep cycle and discomfort to your teeth and gums. Hopefully we're right and when they break the surface, you'll get back to normal. 

Today Ava was Almost There

Well kiddo, it's just about time to put up the baby gates. Not to contain, or inhibit but to keep you safe. 

When your mom and I play with you we've been putting things just out of your reach in hopes that you'll start to crawl or scoot on your butt. You're getting close! Always reaching for things and trying to broaden your horizons. 

You took a "step" towards crawling this evening. Your mom was making you laugh with a large red teddy bear your Grandma sent you for Valentine's Day.  

While playing and reaching for it, you fell forward into a sort of crouched seated position, like you were about to pounce on the bear. It was the perfect position to start crawling. Propping yourself up with your arms, leaning forward. You just haven't quite got yourself coordinated enough to put it all together. No doubt it will be very soon. We can't wait! One more step to independence, but at the same time one more step closer to having more fun.

But, it doesn't stop there. Tonight this entry has a bit of a double meaning. 

You're teeth are also getting closer to making their grand entrance as your gums seem to be bothering you more each day. We've tried to help sooth the pain with drops and baby orajel. 

We don't mean to laugh at your discomfort but the orajel can be amusing. We're not sure if it works immediately, but your reaction sometimes can be priceless. You start to blow raspberries as soon as we rub it on your gums. 

You're obviously in some discomfort here, as it's a lighter reaction than normal, but your mom captured this video tonight after we put the orajel on:

You've been sleeping for a little bit now and you've earned it. Sleep tight, you've got some work to do.

Today Ava hung out with Brycen

We stayed in Shelby at your grandparent's house last night and met up with Kristi and Ben and their son Brycen today. 

Kristi was your mom's best friend since chidhood and luckily they still keep in touch. Even though we live about an hour and a half away, we still get together periodically.

We had some lunch (Chipotle), and watched the Buckeyes lose to Wisconsin on the hardwood. 

Kristi and Ben are great people and it's always a pleasure to hang out with them for a while and catch up. It's something we need to do it more often.

We almost traded children for a little bit. Your mom and I played with Brycen and his wooden train set and they with you. You even took a nap on Kristi's shoulder for a bit.

What I laugh about and take away from today is when Ben was holding you and Brycen - just shy of two years old - walked up and started talking to you. He on one side of Ben, leaning over to have a chat with you. 

You loved it, thought he was hilarious. From where I was sitting, I couldn't tell what he was telling you but from your reaction, it was the funniest joke you've ever heard. Your mom was able to record a little bit of it and I'll have to watch it to see what you guys were talking about. 

Could it have been your first "date" with Brycen?

Today Ava saw Great Grandpa

Before I get to the subject line, I must share that I dropped your mom off at work today since we would be met up with her later. 

After dropping her off we went to Dogwood park. There is always a good sized congregation of ducks and geese at this park. With Spring and Summer right around the corner I wanted to see how you would react. Your reaction was priceless and left me yearning for warmer weather. I can't wait to take you for walks through the parks! 

 

As I eluded to, mom had a game in Tiffin this afternoon and she asked that I bring you along so you could see your Great Grandpa Fenner. 

We drove out to your grandparent's house in Shelby and from there we drove to your Great grandpa's house in Plymouth, Ohio. 

We all then drove about 45 minutes to Tiffin to watch your moms team play. It was a tough overtime loss for the girls, but they played hard.

Your Great grandpa does this whistle - you'll have to ask us to demonstrate sometime - that since you were born captures your attention. We try it ourselves, but it seems to work best when he does it. Not sure what it is about his whistle that stops you in your tracks, but it's adorable. 

About a month after you were born, we lost your Great Grandma Fenner. She was a wonderful woman who always had cookies and popsicles at the house.I didn't know her as long as I would have liked to, but your mom will happily tell you stories as you grow up. 

I mention her because one of the reasons your mom wanted to see your Great Grandpa is because it's been a little bit of a rough go for Great Grandpa since her passing. I can't say that I understand, you're mom and I haven't been married 60+ years like they were, but I can't imagine it's easy when you lose your soul mate, someone you've spent the majority of your life with.

He seems to be keeping busy, which is helpful and to me he seems to be doing better.

When Great Grandma took a turn for the worse, we visited her in the nursing home and introduced you to her. You were nine days old. It was then that I captured one of my favorite photos. One that I hope you'll cherish. 

Your lucky to still have three of your Great Grandparents alive and doing well. Your Great grandparents on my side of the family were lost long before you were born. I would love to tell you about them too someday. 

But, had it not been for my grandfather passing, your om and I may never have gone out and eventually married. Let me tell you about that sometime.

Today Ava Slept In

Since I was long winded with yesterday's post, I'll try and keep this one short.

Much to our dismay, you woke up minutes before 6:00 a.m. wanting to eat. After reading that first sentence you may be confused as to the subject line. Keep reading, I'll get to the point. 

Your mom and I both begrudgingly got out of bed. You see, by the time your mom got home from her game and saw her Valentine's, it was after midnight by the time we got to sleep. Might have even been closer to 1:00 a.m. So six came by pretty early. 

I persuaded your mom to go back to bed, I'll feed you. It was rreeeaaaallllllyyyy tough convincing her (I hope you sense my sarcasm). I had to get up early anyway to take her car to the shop for an oil change and tire rotation so it wasn't a big deal for me to stay up.

You took the bottle and when I stood up, your head fell to my shoulder. Still tired. I rocked with you until I had to go and brought you into our room so you could fall back to sleep with your mom. 

She didn't object and you soon were back to your dreams. 

I took the car in, came back, got ready for work, had breakfast, and kissed you and your mom goodbye before heading in to the job. Your mom barely knew I left and you didn't budge.

I sent your Heather a text at 9:40 a.m. and she replied that you both just woke up and she had to be at work by 10:30. She was only 15 minutes late, Not bad. 

We didn't get to hang out in the morning like we typically do, but that's okay. You obviously needed your rest.

Today Ava made a Valentine

Happy first Valentine's Day little one! 

Today I picked you up from Marissa's and took you on  few errands. I had an idea for a Valentine for your mom and I needed your help. We ran out to Pat Catan's craft store and picked up a pair of small square canvases, some paint and a brush. 

As you can guess, since I picked you up, your mom had a basketball game but more on that in a bit. You may have guessed where I am going with this, but we made your mom a craft for valentine's day. 

Earlier in the week it was agreed that we wouldn't celebrate Valentine's day between us. I was fine with that but still thought you would like to get your mom something. 

I gave you a bottle and while you were working on that I spread some paper towels on the floor in the living room and opened the canvases. In trying to open the paint, when I poked my thumb through the seal, it splattered everywhere. It was on my pants, the floor, and unbeknownst to me, on my face. I cleaned it up quickly - luckily it was washable paint - and globbed some into a container. I dipped your little right hand into the paint and watched for a second as you looked at it in bewilderment. 

By the look on your face, I could tell that you were looking at your hand and wondering "What do I do with this? Do I eat it?" You opened and closed your hands a few times and I attempted to place your palm on the canvas. I was hoping for a nice palm print, but you had other plans. and opened and closed your palm, thus smearing the paint into an unrecognizable blob on the canvas.

We tried again, this time with a little bit of success. It at least looked somewhat like a hand print. Next was the feet. I thought this might be easier, but again, I was wrong. 

I held you up and dipped your feet into the paint. You squished your toes around for a second then I lifte you up and pressed your feet on the canvas in a "V" shape. From my description you're probably wondering what we were doing. I was attempting to spell the word "Love" on the canvas. 

I used the brush to write the L and the E and let it dry. 

After cleaning you - and the living room - up we got you into your Cavs PJs and headed out to Walsh to see mom and the game. 

I knew you wouldn't make it long, you got tired along the way. You lasted through half of the first half and we headed home. After a pit stop to Giant Eagle across campus - needed some eggs - we went home. 

You passed out, and I mean out. You didn't even fuss when  laid you on the changing table to take your jacket off. With that, I went to work finishing your mom's Valentine's gift. 

Since we agreed to not get each other anything, I used the loophole that it was from you. I'll take the cost out of your future allowance. You're welcome. 

 Earlier in the week you and I stopped at Gervasi Vineyard and grabbed a bottle of your mom's favorite wine - Tesoro. While there we also got brownie mix, bread mix, and dipping oil. I really shouldn't be allowed to go places on an empty stomach. 

I signed your name to the card and after baking the bread, set it out on the counter. This most didn't stop when you went to bed because I wanted to share our mom's candid reaction with you.At the last second I thought to record her coming up the steps so i ducked behind the counter. Below is what ensued. You may need to turn up the volume. Enjoy!

Sleep tight, Gravy!

Today Ava was Perfect

Well, kiddo, the subject line states what your mom and I already knew but today was confirmed. You're perfect. You had your six month checkup and Dr. Bartos uttered those words to us. 

You weighed in at 15 lbs. 12 oz. and are 26 inches long. While holding you and looking at the growth charts provided by the physician your mom looked at you and stated "You're average." Don't worry, that reads worse than it sounded at the time. Dr. Bartos was quick to correct her saying, "No, she's perfect." And he's right.  

At your last checkup you were spot on in weight and just a little on the tall side.

You earned three pretty slick bandaids this morning via three pricks to your legs. Two in the left thigh and one in the right. You took them well, didn't scream too much. Not at all like you did at your two week checkup when the nurses were surprised that the screams they heard came from such a small infant. 

At the time one of the nurses even proclaimed "We thought it was at least a four-year-old." I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little proud. 

Your visit with Dr. Bartos alone would have been sufficient to write about, but it doesn't stop there. As if the shots weren't enough, you've had a busy day. 

Following your appointment I went to work and your mom took you to Marissa's then to headed in to work herself. 

Afterwords, we had some running around to do. I beat her home this afternoon so we consolidated cars and headed out to Target. I swear we alone keep them in business. 

Hungry, we ordered sushi from Jasmine Asian Bistro for dinner on our way out of Target.

We arrived a little early to pick up our rolls (spicy tuna, salmon tempura, and philly) so we took you to a local pet store a few shops down. It was here that something unexpected happened. We walked past a "kennel" of sorts that had puppies and you lit up like we've never seen. I hope to hear this belly laugh many many times in the future. The pups were very active and you found them to be hysterical. 

Thankfully with technology, I can show you what I cannot properly describe.

We honestly didn't anticipate this sort of reaction. Does this mean we need to get you a dog?

The whole point of this journal was to take one thing from the day to remember. I've already shared two and am about to get into a third. I have been wanting to take a few Valentine's Day photos with you so tonight we did. 

You're a great model and tonight didn't disappoint. In the years you mom and I have been together I've never seen her wear lipstick. Tonight, that streak ended. She covered you with lipstick kisses and we laid you on a velvet covered pillow for some photos. After all that you've been through today, you worked with us and we were able to create some adorable memories.

All of this and it was also bath night.

Sleep well munchkin, you've earned it.

Today Ava was Cranky

Yesterday, happy. Today, cranky.

We're not sure of the what caused the change in mood overnight, but for whatever reason, you were not cooperative today. From the moment you woke up, you just weren't yourself. The mood continued following work and you were passed out by 7:00 p.m. No conern on our end, we know this isn't the norm and you're a happy baby.

Your mom tried to get you to sleep by laying with you on the couch but you fought a long hard battle. Around 6:30 I took you back to our room to see if you would fall asleep if I laid with you in the dark. I used my cell phone for light so that I could lay down. As soon as that light faded, your head hit my chest and you were done. 

This is from Saturday, but pretty well
sums up how you felt today.

We hoped it would be for about a half hour or so, just enough to get some rest before heading to bed at your normal hour. 

We were a little off. At 7:30 I sent your mom a text from the bedroom telling her I think you're down for the night. As I type this, two and a quarter hours later, you're still out. 

As you laid there on my chest in the dark and I listed to you breathe and felt your heartbeat, it made me think of the first time I heard what sounded like helicopter blades cutting through the air. The doctor told us that sound is our babies heartbeat. We were assured it was perfectly normal for your heart to beat that quickly. No high could ever compare to the feeling you get when you hear evidence of a new life, one you created, for the first time.

Hearing that racing little heart through the speaker was the first tangible reality of your being. I mean, knowing your mother was pregnant was a reality check that you were coming, but physically hearing your existence was the shot in the arm that let us know you truly were going to be here and we better get ready. The only comparable experience was a few months later when we found out boy or girl? That story is for another time.

I ran the entire gambit of emotion. Nervous - are we financially stable for this? Scared - would I be a good dad? Excited - I can't wait to meet you and start making memories. All these mixed at once into an emotional cocktail that is simply indescribable. 

Below is the video of the first time your mother and I heard your heart beat. A moment that will remain with me the rest of my days.

Sleep tight little one.

Today Ava was Happy

Today began like all typical Monday's do. Once you woke up we hung out until 7:45 when I had to shower and begin getting ready for work. After getting ready I left the house and headed off to the job. 

While I was at work, there is one thing of significance to note. Marissa sent your mom a text asking if we have been working on waving with you. She thought you were trying to this afternoon.Your mom has been working with you on this and I'll wave to you when she's holding you and you look over at me. I try to accentuate the wave and "Hi" or "Hello" when doing so in hopes that you'll make the connection. Sounds like our efforts are potentially paying off.

I've written before of how your mom will sit with you at the top of the steps and wait for me to come around the corner. I've mentioned your excitement at this, well today, you didn't disappoint.

I've never seen you squirm so much with anticipation as as I did today. Your smile was wider than I've ever seen and luckily your mom was holding on to you because if she weren't you may just have tumbled yourself down the steps with excitement. You really began to stomp your feet and wiggle uncontrollably. I wish I would have thought ahead to have my cell phone out to record it. 

I've always commented on how happy of a baby you are, but today took the cake. I've never seen you this happy and it continued right up until you went to bed.

I look forward to everyday with you, but days like today simply can't be beat.

Out for a cruise.
Pushing your motorcycle around the basement.

People say your life changes forever when you become a parent. That's a statement you can take one of two ways. 1. You'll never be able to do the things you did before, be as free as you were before and be disappointed about it. or 2. You'll never be able to do the things you did before and be freer than you've ever been knowing that your every move influences the bright young mind you're blessed to call your son or daughter. 

I choose the later. The six months you've been with us have been pure joy. We don't do many of the things I used to do, and I'll speak for your mother and I both and let you know that we wouldn't trade it for the world.

One other point to note is that I really think you'll bypass crawling and go straight to walking. As I've said before, you no longer like to lay down, well now your thing is to try walking. With support of course. 

You're still very wobbly and not quite coordinated enough to stand on your own, but when we let you grip our finger and stand behind you, you really get your little feet gong and want to truck around the house. 

Your mom told me today that you're really getting the concept down and starting to pick your feet up to try and walk. She paraded you around Marissa's house this afternoon before bringing you home. 

Today Ava Had Visitors

The last couple posts have had a lot of sentiment attached. This post will contain more of a summary of the days events.

Your Aunt Holly and Uncle Shawn came to town for a visit from Gahana. They got to the house at around noon. I was finishing up putting some chili together and your mother was keeping you entertained. 

You, Your mom and Aunt Holly were paying in with you in the basement until the Buckeyes game got underway. We all watched the basketball game in which the Buckeyes lost to No. 1 ranked Indiana.

You were a little on the fussy side today. We attribute the crankiness to what we think is teething. It seems as though you are always reaching for something to chew on and continually drooling. But, we haven't seen any teeth pop through yet. 

We got you to take a short 25 minute nap during the game and when you awoke, you were still cranky.

When the game ended we went out to Belden Village to do a little shopping. You went with your mom and Aunt Holly to Old Navy while Shawn and I went to the Indians team shop. We met back up with you at Old Navy and your mom had a bag full of hats and pajamas for next year. You see, your mom is a bargain shopper and purchased the hats for 97 cents (one was a dollar something) and some pajamas for 50 cents. We loaded up for next year. 

Of course, being out that way, we ended up at Target. A little more shopping and it was home for the night. 

We ate the chili that was cooking in the croc pot and by 6:45 p.m. Holly and Shawn were on their way back to Columbus. 

Since you didn't nap much during the day  you passed out shortly after they were on the road. You stayed out for about 45 minutes waking up to take a bottle. 

So there was your day. A nice time hanging out with your Aunt and Uncle. Unfortunately the week begins in the morning and your mom and I have to go back to work. 

Today Ava Closed the Gap

We chilled a bit today, took it easy. It's a weekend, that's what it's for, right? A day to relax, to have some fun, run some errands. 

And that's exactly what we did. Your mom had a basketball game at Lake Erie College up near Cleveland so for the most part, it was a Daddy-Daughter day. We chilled, we played, we did laundry and ran around.

Our errands included a run to Sears to see if our family portraits had arrived. To our surprise, they did. 
 
You're a ham for the camera and we love it! 

But, the one thing I want to take from today isn't the fact that I made a rookie dad mistake by leaving the diaper bag at the house, nor that you took a nap on my chest this afternoon (I have adored those naps since the day we brought you home).

There's not too much about you that I don't adore. Just read previous entries, you'll see. Maybe on a slow day I'll use this journal to rehash how much our naps mean to me. 

What I want to tell you is a bit of a continuation from yesterday. Time is seemingly flying. I know you're only six months old and you'll be my little girl forever, but can we please slow father time down a bit? 

Your mom and I have created a "clock" in your room and today it struck six. Halfway around. After you were born we purchased a large 16x20 inch canvas print of one of your birth photos. It hangs above your crib and each month we add a photo, similar to the numbers on a timepiece. 

Part of our errands today included a run to Walgreens. I needed to pick up a few prints that I had ordered - your five and six month photos. 

When we began charting your growth through these photos a year seemed a long way off. In no time at all the gap has closed.

As much as I look forward to taking you on walks, to the park, throwing a ball, I'm doing everything I can to not blink.

Today Ava Celebrated

"Don't blink. Today she's being born, before you know she'll be 18 and going to prom. Enjoy every minute of it." These words were spoken to me by my boss a few short days after you were born. How prophetic those words have become. 

I hope you don't mind, I have a feeling this entry may get a little long. 

It's amazing to think that today you celebrated your half-birthday. Your six months old. I want to use this entry to share a few things that you've unknowingly taught me. 

You've taught me patience. On more than one occasion over the past 31 years I've heard "You need patience." or "Patience is a virtue." even "Patience isn't your middle name." All of which are true. When I want something, I want it now, or if I want to do something, I want it done immediately. 

Ask your mom, I know for a fact I've frustrated her on more than one occasion due to my lack of patience.

Since you've been born, I've learned to be patient with your cries, patient with your tears, to look for that smile. It will come. In previous entries I've talked about living in the moment and how much I enjoy rocking you to sleep. The old Matt, the Matt before Ava would never have understood how wonderful those moments could and would be. I wish everyone could experience just one of these moments. I'm fortunate to have experienced as many as I have with you.

You've taught me to love in a way I didn't know possible. Without question I love your mother with all my heart. I forever will. 

The love I am speaking of is something different, something I didn't know existed until you blessed me with being your father. Something I didn't realize I was capable of. 

Photo posted to Facebook by Marissa.
Do we need more fiber in your diet?

I find myself  looking at pictures of you while at work, smiling to myself and looking forward to seeing you when I get home, the moment you see me come around the corner in the basement.

There's nothing I wouldn't do for you and this family. I promise you as long as I am walking this Earth that I will keep you safe from whatever worries you, whether it be monsters under your bed or being mistreated in any way.  

I ramble, but I mean every word of it. 

This morning, your mom sent me a text saying that Marissa and her daughters Laney and Liv surprised you with a  "Birthday Party." They had balloons and party hats ready for when you arrived. 

I was honestly dissapointed that I was already at work and missed out. I asked her to send me pictures if she received any. Marissa posted some to Facebook as well as a video of Laney and Liv singing Happy Birthday to you. It was adorable. 

Every month since you've been born, your mom and I have held a photo shoot in the basement to document the occasion. I was obviously a naive rookie father when you were born, thinking that as you get older, the photos would be easier. 

I couldn't have been more wrong. 

As you've gained more control of yourself it's become harder and harder to keep you content and still for the photos. Today, you weren't having it. 

We try two different poses to chart your growth. One is just of you lying on a crocheted blanket that has white and purple zigzags. It was created and given to you by your great grandmother Kempf. 

The other, we place you into a wicker basket with purple blanket. 

We had no problems with the blanket pose, you were happy as usual. Things quickly changed as we tried the basket. When you've had enough, you've had enough.

See? You were far from happy, but the photo above makes me smile. 

Speaking of photos, Most of my favorites from your first six months can be found here. But I will end this post by showing how you've grown in your first six months.

As a father, I feel it is my duty to make sure you are healthy and smart, but thank you for the love and patience you have taught me and I can't wait to see what I'll learn from you in the next six months.