Today Ava was Cranky

Yesterday, happy. Today, cranky.

We're not sure of the what caused the change in mood overnight, but for whatever reason, you were not cooperative today. From the moment you woke up, you just weren't yourself. The mood continued following work and you were passed out by 7:00 p.m. No conern on our end, we know this isn't the norm and you're a happy baby.

Your mom tried to get you to sleep by laying with you on the couch but you fought a long hard battle. Around 6:30 I took you back to our room to see if you would fall asleep if I laid with you in the dark. I used my cell phone for light so that I could lay down. As soon as that light faded, your head hit my chest and you were done. 

This is from Saturday, but pretty well
sums up how you felt today.

We hoped it would be for about a half hour or so, just enough to get some rest before heading to bed at your normal hour. 

We were a little off. At 7:30 I sent your mom a text from the bedroom telling her I think you're down for the night. As I type this, two and a quarter hours later, you're still out. 

As you laid there on my chest in the dark and I listed to you breathe and felt your heartbeat, it made me think of the first time I heard what sounded like helicopter blades cutting through the air. The doctor told us that sound is our babies heartbeat. We were assured it was perfectly normal for your heart to beat that quickly. No high could ever compare to the feeling you get when you hear evidence of a new life, one you created, for the first time.

Hearing that racing little heart through the speaker was the first tangible reality of your being. I mean, knowing your mother was pregnant was a reality check that you were coming, but physically hearing your existence was the shot in the arm that let us know you truly were going to be here and we better get ready. The only comparable experience was a few months later when we found out boy or girl? That story is for another time.

I ran the entire gambit of emotion. Nervous - are we financially stable for this? Scared - would I be a good dad? Excited - I can't wait to meet you and start making memories. All these mixed at once into an emotional cocktail that is simply indescribable. 

Below is the video of the first time your mother and I heard your heart beat. A moment that will remain with me the rest of my days.

Sleep tight little one.